What do you put in a condolence card? How do you express condolences and sympathies to someone going through a painful loss? These are all difficult questions we face when we want to send our love to those grieving.

Although sad, and sometimes overwhelming, sending a condolence card shows someone how much you care and that they are not alone. Here are a few tips and examples to help guide you on what to say when someone dies.

Read through our guide of what to write in a condolence card below, and if you’re still lost for words, we have 30 examples of respectful and supportive sympathy messages here.

What do you write in a condolence card? – find the right words

1.   Think about what type of message they need

Expressing how we feel can be a struggle, especially when it’s about loss and grief. Thinking about who you’re sending condolences to and what they might need to read will help you choose the right words.

Maybe they’ll be overwhelmed by something too heartfelt, so a short condolence message will better suit them. Alternatively, some people might appreciate reading heartfelt and deep expressions of sympathy. Others might even need a laugh during these trying times. Think about the person in question, and if you’re not sure, opt for something in the middle.

So what are some things to say in a sympathy card?

Deepest condolences messages examples

Deepest sympathies to help with what to put in a condolence card
Example 1

“Dear (Name),

It is hard to find the right words today. May you find peace, comfort, and all the love you need in the days to come. I am thinking of you and your family, and sending caring thoughts your way.

I’m wishing you comfort, and know you have my full support at every moment. I’m just a text away.”

Example 2

“Dear (Name),

I am deeply sorry to hear about the passing of your loved one. I know they meant the world to you and to so many others. Some of my fondest memories are with you both. May we never forget the joy they brought to us.

I am always here to support you with love and a shoulder to cry on.”

Short condolences messages examples

Example 1

“Dear (Name),

I know there are no words that can ease your pain. Just know that I’ll always be here for you no matter what.

Please accept my deepest condolences for your family’s loss.”

Example 2

“Dear (Name),

Words can’t express how saddened we are to hear of your loss. You’re not alone. I am a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to anytime you want to share, think about something else or just sit together.

My deepest condolences.”

Example 3

“Dear (Name),

I recall how much time you two spent together. You were virtually inseparable. May all your wonderful memories comfort you during this heartbreaking time.

Our family is keeping your family in our thoughts and prayers.”

Sympathy and condolence cards can be so difficult to write. MyPostcard app can help make things a little easier with many condolence messages to add your sympathy card. You can personalize each design and upload photos or a video. We print, post and deliver your sympathies to your loved one directly.

2. What to put in a condolence card – share a memory

Sharing a memory you have of the person that has passed is a lovely way to personalize your message, making sure it doesn’t sound too generic. It’s also a beautiful way to keep their memory alive.

Tips on how to write a condolence card by sharing a memory

Example 1

“My deepest sympathy for the loss of (loved one). I will hold the memories we shared together so close to my heart. I remember one time, (share memory). It will always put a smile on my face remembering that day.”

Example 2

“Your (loved one) impacted the world in so many beautiful ways. I have so many memories of how they helped me, like when (share memory). They will be remembered with love and joy.”

3.   What to put in a condolence card – offer support

End off your message by offering support in any way you can. Maybe you can help them around the house, making sure the house is clean or cooking meals. Offering support can also just be coming over and talking or watching a movie, so they don’t feel so alone.

What to put in a condolence card - offer support.

Example 1

“I cannot imagine the heartache you feel at this time. I am here for you, whether you need a hug or a home-cooked meal.”

Example 2

“We would love to support and help out in any way we can. We are here, whatever you need.”

As time goes on, we heal from the loss. Offering support and keeping in touch is always helpful. Why not send well wishes to help your loved one as they move past their grief? We’ve got a list of sympathies and well wishes for all the different people in your life.

4.   What to put in a condolence card – remember

Two grieving men hug and offer comfort

To respect their religious beliefs

At a time of loss, loved ones often turn to religion for support and guidance. Be careful to respect their religious beliefs and not encroach on your own. You can add a religious quote or passage but only if you’re very sure it’s part of their faith and will be comforting. 

Don’t bring up accidents or tragedies

A loved one has passed, there’s no need to rub salt in the wound. Definitely remember not to focus on any details or memories that could cause further pain and sadness. Keep your message kind and full of love.

Sympathy, not empathy

Sometimes, we may feel we know what someone is going through but when it comes to grief there are really no two comparisons. It’s important to rather stick to words of sympathy to show how much you care.

Sympathy, gifts, and gestures

 Sympathy gifts are an added gesture to help and show how much you care. Here, it’s not about lavish or spending lots, but rather something to lift their spirits or help them out during a tough time. Here are a couple of gifts or gestures to help:

  • Send flowers
  • Send a card
  • Drop off groceries or prepare a meal for them. Alternatively, send a gift voucher for an app like Deliveroo, so they can order out.
  • Offer to run errands or help around the house
  • Stay in contact and check in

Last words

The bottom line is that expressing your support and sympathy can help a grieving person feel like they’re not alone. Hopefully, we could help you find the right words.

Author

Hiya, I’m Maud. I’m an English girl who's moved to Berlin - because who wouldn’t fall in love with a country which has words like ‘Kummerspeck’ hidden around every corner... I love traveling and finding out the quirks of each country - and what better way to remember them than on a postcard?

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